He Is Faithful

                                                          He Is Faithful

                                                           

        

          When we fall from God or stray, we tend to think that it is totally impossible for Him to do great things through us.  We may say to ourself, "I've done too much for God to use me", "Who would want to listen to me when I've messed up so much" or, "Surely God has given up on using me."  If you have thought any of these things or anything similar, I want to tell you that that is farthest from the truth.  Whatever you have done does not even compare to the power of God, and by His power and love for us, nothing is impossible.  He can turn the biggest problem of your life upside down.  In this present moment, it may feel like you will never get past what you are facing.  In this present moment, it may feel hopeless.  In this present moment, you may feel so far gone.  But just around the corner is something beyond what you could imagine and something worth this battle.

        I've have been through those feelings.  Earlier this year, I was going through a lot.  I was realizing all my flaws, I lost some of the people I could rely on from a house fire, I felt like God would not want to use me anymore, God was silent, it felt as if everything that could go wrong, went wrong. When I was going through all of this I felt so far gone, I felt hopeless, I felt worried, and I felt anxious. Even if what you are going through is different from what I went through, we still have something in common, we have Jesus we can run to.

       Last summer, God called me into ministry, because of this, I was on top of the world.  I felt like nothing could bring me down because I knew that God had a purpose for my life!  As the months went by, I slowly started feeling the opposite of this.  My soul was not on fire anymore.  This all started with pride.  Since God called me into ministry I started looking at myself in a way that was not humble.  I would use God's calling on my life to cover up my insecurities.  I would say to myself, "God called me into ministry so God must look at me differently." "At least I have not done what.... has done."  This is a horrible thing to do!  To some, they did not notice I was like this, and some did. Even though I did NOT want to admit my harmful sin, I eventually had too. I was not placing my confidence in God, I was placing it in what God called me to do.  God loves everyone the same, He does not play favorites.  He has an uncontainable love for each one of us.  If God has placed a special calling on your life, please do not do what I did.  Yes, it is a special to be called into ministry, but that does not in any way make us any more special.

       Now that God has showed me this major sin, I know why God let me go through so much this year.  He had to humble me.  God wanted me to place my trust in Him, not the calling He placed on my life.  I am not saying that God lets bad things happen to me because He hated me, He let these trials come my way so I could lean on Him and not myself.  

       Although God may not be speaking or not moving abundantly in your life right now, He is there!  I encourage you to read your Bible.  That is one of the things that got me through that.  As you read The Word, God will reveal His love for you.  It may not be every time you want it, but He is faithful.